Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Seek The Wearer, Not The Cloak.

You are not your body. You are The Infinite Energy/ Spirit traveling within the body. 
Anything here in the physical can be used as such. Light condensed becomes matter. So literally, everything is light & energy. (#quantumphysics )

So anything here in the physical is not what is truly being seeked. It is merely the energy within it. You only seek yourself. "As above so below. As within so without"

You are the energy & light condensed as matter. You literally create all that you see.

#positivevibrations #loveandlight #everythingisenergy #empath #evolve #embraceit #eyeseeyou #knowledgeofself #youniverse #youaretheuniverse #yourvibeattractsyourtribe #goodvibes #knowledge #biggerpicture #awake #aware #awakening #alyssagadson #alyssapena #befree #freeyourmind #higherfrequency #truthseeker

Friday, January 22, 2016

Think For Yourself

A different way of saying "don't have the same year 75 times and called it a life". People have it upside down nowadays. They exalt an illusion and abase the truth. I know most of you, even me, have been asked this question in various forms.. "Are you gonna change?" Or "You've changed. Thought you'd stay the same." Or have some kind of relative statement to this but in a negative way. Well most of the time. But I have to ask, for those who say these kinds of things or believe these kinds of things, are you really thinking it through and think that change is negative? 
If that's you... You are probably either too comfortable in what we would call the safe zone. Which means you like for everything to stay the same because it's what you used to or you fear the unknown of what could happen.

are you going along with what most have been programmed to think about change? of it having to be negative? Just because that's what most people have been taught to believe?

If that's you... So because everyone says it, it's supposed to be truth? And if 1 million people are jumping off of the building are you going to go do it too just because they are doing it? Or can you actually have thoughts that are completely of your own regardless of any influence?

Friday, January 15, 2016


"You are not here to make a choice. You are here to figure out & understand why you made that choice."

You're here in this life not to make choices.
You already made the choice before you came here again in this form. You're here to understand why. Lifetimes here are for your soul, the universe itself, to understand who you are & understand yourself. It's part of mastering yourself. 

Before you actually change forms, worlds, lifetimes, you already made your choices before it ever manifests into the physical dimension. You also already signed a "contract" of all the lessons you're going to learn in this life. Already had knowledge of & Accepted the experiences you're set to face in this life before you're born. 

I'll even add a personal experience of mine with this. I still remember coming here into this life. I specifically remember choosing the soul who is in this life as my mom, to be my mom in this life. I remember choosing her soul. Now I just wanna fully remember why. Through meditation, and talks with the universe, other dimensions, I'm starting to see more of the full picture as to why. To understand my choice. 

That's also why I say, you're here to remember who you are, in the human experience though. 

Almost like we as the universe said "hey lets play a game and see who can remember who we are." Here we are now, taking on to the human form and experiences, emotions, and ways. Most still don't remember yet.

Like a game gone wrong huh? A lot of knowledge has been kept from most. Kinda seems like, a hypnosis, robotic.
"The blind leading the blind".

Wake up. Then it will all start to make sense. You'll actually see.... (YOU)niverse ����������

Much love and light. Positive vibrations. Peace.

Alyssa (Peña) Gadson 

_*_*_*_*_*_* Peña is my birth name lol. 

Monday, December 28, 2015

Religion VS. Reasoning

People lean on their faith as a crutch. But the comfort it provides is a shallow pretense.
It provides a comfort that lacks much intelligence or the use thereof.

It completely lacks logic evidence & reasoning.

"Religion is about turning untested beliefs into unshakable truths through the power of institution and the passage of time."

Over 6,000 years ago, most of these stories were made up. These were all stories that were clearly made up in untrue but from what I am seeing overtime, is that the longer that the story remains, the more people believe it as fact. It's like a game of telephone, only it has been going on for centuries. No matter what made up thing it started with and The additional made up stories that have added to the telephone line, because that telephone line has been going on for centuries, people think it is fact. Therefore becoming authoritative when none of it was true in the first place. Also referred to as the passage of time.

There is a huge lack of intelligence in that scenario. Taking another's word for it without questioning it and reasoning. There is no use of one's own brain and analyzing our reasoning of one's own experience when it comes to explaining religion. Everything is "because God told me or God revealed it to me". No one actually sees if you really truly makes sense for them to believe or not to believe what is being told to them by analyzing it themselves through their own understanding and coming to their own conclusions based on their own experiences in believing whatever it is that is to be believed.

** And again, I'm not telling you what to believe. I really don't care what other people believe. You can believe in one God, five gods, 1000 gods, or no God. It's more so the part where people are trading in their intelligence willingly and not wanting to think for themselves for the mirror substitute of letting another's  so-called experience dictate what is going to happen to everyone else when we are all different and we all perceive things differently and we go through them feeling differently and we all have our own individuality and thoughts about it to begin with. 

This is part of a continuation of the previous post.

 I like to actually walk the paths of people who think differently than I do. Experience, I believe, is a great teacher. It gives you the opportunity to feel what they feel and experience it and analyze it for yourself to gain a better understanding of what otherwise you truly wouldn't know anything of. 

As for religion, I am not a religion basher. Religious people come to my page probably think that but I think that's just them being sensitive lol.

I personally, over 10 years ago, had made the decision to gain a better understanding of why people who choose religion think and act the way they do. So through my cousin, I think I was 12 or 13 at the time. I visited her grandmothers church with her. I wasn't really fascinated with the whole God talk. I was more fascinated with the reverse psychology that they were using on the people and how they ate it up. The psychological aspect of it. I stayed with the church for a while, a few years. What I did was I bought different versions of the Bible and I read it and compared it. There are some Bibles out there where you can write notes and it called the study Bible and then you have the other normal Bibles. For a period of time I would study it at home Dan and day out after school. I tried to feel what they feel I tried to see if it makes sense. I really Doven to the experience. I tried to say the things that they say and do the things that they do believe the things that they believe. But deep down there were so many questions building up of things that didn't make any sense.

After church I would always walk up to the pastor, say hi, and then have a set of questions based on what he tried to teach that day. The answer was never straightforward but always to go pray about it, or to buy the CD if I missed anything in the message and hear it over and over again until I get it. It was never straightforward answer or any details whatsoever. So when I saw this pattern I knew that it left out a lot of logic and reasoning in order to believe everything that is being said. 

So instead of praying about it I did my own research. I researched everything that they taught. The Bible, the beginning of religion, or a certain religion. The psychology of it, why people believe in it, what is it that there truly searching for that they feel that this substitutes it in order for them to not think further, the entire basis of it.

Even the business side of it of how they make money and why they care so much about one paying their ten percent tithe. It actually has nothing to do with God. But they put God in that scenario for moral manipulation into the congregation giving them money. I've even questioned the pastors on this in several churches and a lot of them deny this and just refer right back to the Bible passage on giving money to churches.

If you do deep enough research though, that is also something that the Romans put into play in the first place. We can take it way back to the coliseum and how it was constructed for the entire audience to see what's going on, to how they have put certain people in power through the money that was being made by these sort of set ups. They took this same concept and applied it to religion which has made it now today one of the most profitable industries or organizations in the world. Businesswise this is sheer genius.

The moral side of it spiritual side of it, or just even the side of it where it applies more to the congregation of people seeking the truth that is not there, it sucks. Straight up.

It gives people a great excuse to not think for themselves and replace it with the belief of another's creation theory. Replaces your critical thinking with the thinking of someone else. Molds your individuality into a form of a cult. It turns your individuality into a form of a following.

And it's honestly depressing an oppressing to be a part of these cults. So sexist, so bias and unreasonable. And a lot of of the aspects of a woman and what she should explore of herself is bashed and put down and demonized rather than uplifted and respected. And that her sexuality is based on the one man she can find. There is no natural flow of energy without criticism in religion. And that is just one aspect of this issue. We aren't even counting the number of deaths and genocides and horrible inhumane acts that are done under the name of whatever God that they believe in in the first place. Those kinds of things lead me to believe that these types of gods are just an excuse to get away with however one is behaving or the lack there of. However one is thinking or even the lack thereof. It's a crutch for those who do not want to be accountable for their actions who do not want to take responsibility for how their thinking and their behavior has created their state of life and energy that they flow in, in this moment and what has come out of it. 

I'm just hoping that this generation, where it is heading, leads more in a direction of actual logic and reasoning and thinking for one's self. To stop adopting other people's old Ideas and theories into a state of fact. To know how to tell the difference and test things out and question everything for yourself. To even watch one's own mind and thoughts and be aware of what you're thinking and how you're thinking, what you're feeling how you're feeling, and why and to learn and master one's self. To move out of the era of fables that are only making the few so much money and keeping the most under control and move towards and era of knowledge of self, thinking for one's self and reasoning and logic. Towards intelligence. Towards self actualization and self mastery. Where people Drop the fear and actually take the journey within themselves and see their own truth, and flow in their own Divine vibration to create a reality that is truly their own and not just a following of someone else's old ideology that lacks intelligence and reasoning.


Monday, December 7, 2015

Your Ego Vs Your Soul

One of my biggest “aha!” moments was realising the difference between my soul and my ego.

It took me a long time and a lot of soul-digging to get it. Here is my understanding:

Your ego is:

  • the image you have of yourself
  • your social mask, the face you put on for the world
  • your titles and roles (girlfriend, daughter, brother, sister, friend, colleague, teammate)

You can learn to spot your ego. When your ego is in charge:

  • you’re often caught in circling thoughts (thinking about the same things over and over)
  • you’re often consumed by your emotions (especially hurt, disappointment and anger)
  • your inner dialogue is heavily focused on anxieties, fears, doubts and self-criticism (I’m not good enough, I’m not beautiful, I can’t do this, I totally stuffed up, I am bad at this, my life is meaningless)
  • your worth is dependent on external things (whether you’ve got a partner, a mortgage, a great job, a beautiful wardrobe, a huge circle of friends)
  • you desperately need validation from other people
  • you’re easily bruised when things don’t go your way, people don’t act in the way you expect them to, people let you down, or people say or do things to offend you

Your ego is something you have to live with, but you don’t have to listen to it or believe what it has to say.

Try not to take it too seriously. It’s not the real you.

If you hear your ego hark up, call it out – “Ha! Nice try, ego friend. Better luck next time.”

Your soul is:

  • your spirit/essence/true self
  • who you really are deep down below all the labels, roles, expectations and social masks
  • something that doesn’t change – you are born you and you will forever be you
  • inherently worthwhile – you are divine energy from the Universe. Your very existence in this world is what makes you beautiful, valuable and amazing.

You can learn to spot your soul. When your soul is in charge:

  • you get a gut feeling about things, an intuition, an inner voice which guides you
  • you realise you love and accept yourself deeply and completely
  • your have burning desires and goals, but your sense of self-worth and happiness is not dependent on them
  • you are forgiving of others and you are more easily able to accept people as they are, faults and all
  • your preferences, desires and ideas bubble up from within you (not from external influences like society and the expectations of others)
  • you get a feeling of being in the flow, of losing yourself in something you love – like yoga, running, walking, painting, writing, sex or cooking
  • you often feel an indescribable connection with the entire Universe – especially when you experience a sunrise, a starry night sky, an old tree, or a quote that resonates with you
  • everything feels effortless – it’s like the Universe is gently pushing you forward
  • all the right people, places and circumstances unfold in perfect timing around you
  • you feel free, fearless and empowered to go after your dreams and build a beautiful life
  • you understand your purpose in life is to follow your dharma, your heart’s song, your own path, and to give your unique gifts to the world

Your soul is eternal and always present, even if you don’t always feel it or pay attention to it.

You can build a better relationship with your soul through stillness, meditation, spending time in nature, soul or journal writing, being open-hearted and authentic, and doing more things that you love.

Learn to listen to your soul when it speaks to you, trust in it and act on the advice it gives to you.

Your soul is a source of unconditional love, courage and strength, wisdom, and happiness and joy.

It can’t be harmed by other people’s opinions or external circumstances. It can’t be harmed by anything.

To be fair, it is incredibly challenging to dismiss the allure of the ego and be led by your soul.

But even if you manage to tap into this deeper part of you a few minutes a day, your life will improve in many noticeable and beautiful ways.

This is because even a teaspoon worth of love, wisdom or courage coming from your soul is a thousand times more powerful than a negative message coming from the ego.

Try and remember this.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Hot Girls Wanted: My Journey & why I moved on

Watching "Hot Girls Wanted". I know and have worked with a lot of those on the film. I'm glad they decided to be honest about the actual experience in the industry and how it really goes. It is also part of the reason why I decided to retire. One of the most honest was Stella May. Thank you for being honest and open about how the industry really is and how it makes some of us women feel behind the scenes. People do not realize the physical risk, health risks, emotional tolls, the toll it takes on your personal life and how it makes you feel personally when you see that what they are displaying is not who you really are more so just an object.

It is one thing to be proud of who you are in all aspects, even sexually. Owning who you are sexually is very self empowering. But this particular industry doesn't always promote that so much. Yet it is glamorized on the forefront and all the new girls coming into it have no idea what world they are stepping into but Get hit with the truth when they are at their first or second shoot and they start to see and get a taste of what it is really like to be in that industry.

I used to even get hired a lot to talk to the new girls before they actually put their face on camera to give them the 101 talk. The reality of it so that they can have a fair chance at deciding for themselves.

I for one, because I was already promiscuous years before I ever thought of putting it on camera, knew that putting a camera and for the whole world to see that my face is attached to a possibly degrading title and video concept, I knew and started to get the real idea that I had to make a decision whether not I should keep going through this or stop at the third shoot. At the time that I started it took a toll on my personal life and severed a lot of relationships that I had. Family friends lovers and so on.

So my decision at the time was to become numb to it and see where this goes. ( I didn't want to judge something just awful of a taste. I don't like feeling like I'm judging. Actually fully experiencing something I making a calculated decision on it on whether it's right for you or not is what I would rather do so I saw through). It was a whole new experience in a sense and I wanted to see what this was all about. The first 8 to 9 months was not easy. I was in a relationship that was falling apart because of what I was doing. Eventually it completely fell apart and I took a month off to regroup my thoughts and then one month turned into 7 to 8 months of sobriety from everything in the world. I had moved to the Midwest and stayed out of the industry for a while. I gained a peace of mind and a sense of self. Meditation exercise exploring nature and my job and being alone or my main focus at that time. It was the most peaceful. Of my life. That helped me to realize that self actualization is one of the most if not the most important thing along the journey to have. Due to circumstances I ended up moving back to Miami and two months later ended up working at tootsies as a exotic dancer (stripper).

This was also another aspect of that industry that I had absolutely no idea about. I walked in there not knowing a clue on what to do what to say or even what that world was even about. I only knew one girl in there and she basically showed me the inns and outs of that world and how to make top dollar doing the least but being smart about it. To me it felt dark and not right. But I usually always tend to trust my intuition, trust the journey and whatever lessons it has in store for me through any experience. And I did. I learned a lot. I also went through a lot in that world too. It is very tough doing that job and it's very dangerous but it also gave me a different type of confidence in myself. I worked there for almost a year and then switched between that club and two other clubs, got a place of my own and decided to give it another shot as an adult actress since I was already numb to everything that was going on. This time I had no relationships, family was barely ever around, I literally only had myself. Gave it another shot and came back fully doing boy girl scenes and all that stuff. It grew from just that to documentaries to reality TV shows to radio station interviews and so much more. I was always busy and never home I was always on a plane traveling with constant work and clients as well. Almost a year later I just knew I was really ready to stop. I was happy with the money and the freedom but I wasn't happy with what my name was linked to. It wasn't linked to anything that truly had to do with who I really am. It was always whoever I'm acting out in the film as an object to a man's desire. It was never me for who I am and what I really have to offer on all aspects. And so in that sense I felt like I was lying to myself and that feeling for me is one of the most uncomfortable feelings. So I knew I had a choice to make. Either keep going and I had it at the very least another three months of work lined up already, or have the courage to really stop and show who I really am. And I stayed off set for two months thinking and that's when I knew that this was it. This was the end of the road for this aspect. To just acknowledge it for the good and bad that it came with, take all the lessons that I've learned from it and move forward to the next part of my life that is going to get me closer to completely becoming one with who I truly am.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Recognize Your Own Poison

I feel like more than ever, so far, this statement is very relevant to what I am working on personally. From the darkness of my past, BPD, and many other factors, as well as all the lessons learned so far and where it's brought me to now... I have grown a lot, just as much as I recognize that there is still growing that is being done within me. I have come, so far, to a state where I realize more and more where I have been my own "poison" all along. 

So I am actively working on it, working on my thought patterns, the vibrations I send out, my emotions as well as my behavior towards certain things. This is a very big and healthy step for me. Anyone going through a similar process, I encourage you to keep going and to not give up. Like I said, we all have the infinite power within us to change a vibration to create new results that work best for us.

Growth is so beautiful. Scars are beautiful as well. They tell the story of where you once were, and the strength encourage and love that you invested in yourself to switch that path to a healthier one for you.

#alyssagadson #positivesoul #positivevibrations #enjoythejourney #everythingisenergy #experience #energy #scars #soul #shine #spirit #freespirit #freeyourmind #vibration #journey #youniverse #loveandlight #loveyourself #healthierlife #changeisgood